Chat rooms for teens that like sex - Who am i dating profile

It all started when my pal Paula asked me to figure out why she wasn't getting a response to her JDate ad. " What I get is that we all want to be loved for exactly who we are. " It wasn't long before news that I'd taken Paula's profile from drab to fab spread far and wide (okay, a couple of people in Brooklyn heard). I've seen the dumb, the dull, and the klutzy; the bitter, the brazen, and the too cute by half.

I don't know why, I don't know how, I only know that I was at the supermarket one fine morning, minding my own business, when suddenly I came face to face with "the sun-dried plum." I will tell you right now that I'm a fan of the prune—particularly when it's in Danish form—but the prune was clearly not selling.

For the prune to turn heads (not to mention meet a nice guy, move to the suburbs, and have a couple of baby prunes) it needed a fresh marketing strategy.

Which brings us to today's subject: the online dating profile.

I've got a number of brilliant, beautiful, frank, funny friends, all capable of remarkable things, but writing an enticing online profile does not seem to be one of them. Some people offer their services in soup kitchens, some volunteer to shampoo crude oil off of sad, gooey pelicans; I rewrite online dating profiles.

I'm sure a few of you actually do spend a lot of time reading biographies and memoirs and technical books.

But, like, most of you just mean the extent of your reading is skimming the news headlines when you're supposed to be working.

Either tell the truth or make up a more creative lie."I'm equally as comfortable spending a night in watching a movie as I am going out for drinks." Even the wildest college kid likes to stay in once in a while, and even my grandma likes to get out of the house for some fun some nights.

Last year I pegged "Joe Generic" as one of the worst types of online daters, but apparently, he continues to keep cloning himself all over the Internet. Seriously, if you've read one dude's online dating profile, you've probably read the next 20."The most private thing I'm willing to admit is…I'm on an online dating site lol." Not only is this the most boring, commonly used answer to this question, it also does a sly double duty as an insult.

Are you telling me there's something embarrassing about online dating?

Because, um, how do you think I got to your profile?

"Favorite books: Mostly nonfiction." Come on, guys.

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